Wednesday, May 12, 1999

AERC: Permissible and Prohibited Drugs & Medications

Permissible substances (preceding and during competition):
*liniments that do not contain materials absorbed into the body (alcohol and Absorbine)
*foodstuffs known as nutrients
*nonabsorbable topical wound dressings
*ice and ice water
*compounds to synchronize estrus

Nonpermissible substances include:
*any substance by injection or stomache tube
*vitamins in megadoses
*nutrient substances administered in doses to achive a pharmacologic effect (DMSO, DMG, yucca and MSM)
*any anti-inflammatory, stimulus, depressants, analgesia, or analgesia-containing products such as procaine penicillin
*masking substances (sulpha drugs, benzimadole wormers, thiamine injections)
*liminments that contain DMSO, menthol or camphor
*E-SE injections

Friday, May 07, 1999

Kirsten`s First 100 Mile Ride - Kirsten

Yes, I made it!!! I rode my first 100 mile ride at Washoe Valley, Nevada, last Saturday and it was a lot of fun!!! I had a wonderful horse (thanks, Lari!!!), great help from Lari Shea and her crew, perfect weather, a challenging but beautiful and well marked trail that offered everything (rocky high desert, pine trees, mountain views, steep climbs, easy dirt roads and sandy lake side trails) and great company throughout the ride! I had been thinking about entering a 100 miler for a while but never quiet found the confidence to do it with one of my own horses. Whenever I thought that I was ready, I felt that the horse wasn`t and vice versa... There were all these doubts in my head, like: What, if I reach the point of feeling like I don`t want to go on? What, if my horse hits the wall `cause he`s never gone that far either? What about those endless hours riding through the dark? What, if we get pulled at 90 miles? What, if it starts raining at 10pm? ........

The idea of riding a horse with 100mile-experience had never occured to me, untill Lari Shea offered me to ride Nature`s Nikita, one of her big, strong Arab/Orlov crosses, at Washoe. I didn`t think twice. Although I had never sat on this horse before (not to mention that I`ve never ridden another horse than Slim or Zuma in an Endurance ride) I trusted Lari. If she thought that Niki and I could do it, I knew we would.

Thursday after work I flew from L.A. to Reno. Heidi Siegel picked me up from the airport (in pouring rain....) and I spend the night at her house (Thanks, Heidi, for the great dinner and everything!). The next morning the clouds were gone and we had a short 1 hour drive to basecamp where "my horse for the next 100 miles" was already waiting to take me on a test-ride. Trying to get on the 16h gelding was quiet a challenge (my guys at home are 14.2h) but once I made it up there, it felt pretty good. Niki has a big, floating trot and canter as well as a ground covering walk, which I really learned to appreciate the next day. With his "Let`s go"-attitude he seemed to be ready for anything.

The start for the 100milers was at 5am with a bright full moon shining over the snow covered Sierra`s. I was glad that Lari and I rode together on the first 50 mile loop. I pretty much just followed her through the various terrain while getting to know my horse better and listening to some great stories, and Niki seemed to be quiet content with Avanti`s company and kept on cruising down the trail. Just before we headed down into Dayton for the 32mile vet check we saw a wild Mustang standing on a bluff about 1000 -1500 feet from us. The stocky bay horse was watching us trot by. What a beautiful sight! I had never seen a wild horse with my own eyes before and I was thrilled. He was my lucky charm!!!

Niki vetted through the first and second vet check with flying colours. I was impressed by how fast his pulse dropped, especially for such a big guy. Both horses had been drinking well on the trail, wether it was out of water troughs, creeks or puddles. After the lunch hold Lari left 1 minute in front of me, saying something like "You`ll probably catch up right away...". That was the last I saw of her. Although Niki wanted to catch up with his buddy, I thought I`d better slow down a little, for the horse`s and my own sake. The next 20 mile loop had some climbing and some pretty rocky parts in it, and I didn`t want to take a chance. On the first steep hill, Niki acted like he was tired, so I got off and tailed up. As soon as other horses started passing us he kicked into a higher gear and dragged me up to the top. Of course he wouldn`t stand still while I was trying to mount and when I finally made it back in the saddle, I decided to stay there untill we got back to camp for the next vet check .

We left the 70 mile check at the same time as Dominique (? last name) and rode with her the next 26 miles. Our horses travelled well together and Niki sure appreciated to have a trail buddy again. It turned out that Dominique was also riding a horse that she had only met the day before, but she knew the course and therefore managed to get us over the pass and through the SOB`s in exactly 4 hours. Just before we reached the waterstop halfway through the loop, 3 riders passed us whose horses looked terrific. I remembered Lari`s words that "100 milers aren`t won on the first 50 miles". One of the 3, Judy Reens, stayed with us for the remaining part of the loop. We reached camp for the last vet check while the sun was setting. Judy`s and Dominique`s horses met criteria faster than Niki, who seemed excited and anxious to head for our campsite and see his buddies. I finally got him to stand still and drop to 60. He vetted through fine, except that his pulse was still a little high.

We left on the last 4 mile loop 5 minutes behind Dominique and Judy and I knew that we wouldn`t be able to catch them. And in a way I was glad, because I knew that there were 8 in front of us and one had to be 11th..... The last 4 miles took us down to the lake and along the shore before turning back through the dunes and towards camp. Little waves were splashing on the beach while we were walking through the sand and I was thinking "I can`t believe, we`re almost done!". I had expected to take about 50 - 60 minutes for this final loop, but Niki was full of energy. We had stayed in the vet area for the 15 minute hold so he knew that he wasn`t quiet done yet but willing to go a little further. We crossed the finish line in the last daylight at about 20.15 pm. What about all my worries re. riding in the dark......??? At the final check, Niki got all As exept for one B (attitude...:-)). What a great horse! He had taken such good care of me that I never reached the point of "Oh god, how much further...?"! Just a little sore and one good size bruise (from swinging my leg over the saddle to low and ripping off the cap of a waterbottle). I was hungry and tired and couldn`t wait to fall into my sleeping bag. But -- wait -- noone had told me how hard it is to fall asleep after riding for 15hours. I felt like I was jet-laged! My body was exhausted but my mind kept on going... Oh well, I didn`t expect not to have ANY problems at all, did I....???

Btw, Lari and her horse Avanti won the Washoe 100 by about 15 minutes (and 2 hours in front of Niki and me)! But Lari knows that I`m still waiting to hear the second part of that story she promised to tell me later in the day..... :-))

BC went to Marcia Smith and Samsoon, who looked phantastic the next mornining! And although about a dozen or so people were pulled (out of 42, I think), everybody I knew made it through the 100. The last riders finished at 3.30 am - WOW... guess, I`m really spoiled ..... :-))) !!! Thanks to everybody who helped to make May 1st my day!!!

Kirsten Topanga, California (Okay, I admit, I`m still a little bit sore. But nothing will ever compare to what I went through on my first 25 mile ride 2 1/2 years ago...)

3K Renegade Pony - John Parke

My Icelandic horse Remington passed the three thousand career mile mark at Randy Eiland`s Renegade Ride in New Mexico a week or two ago. This ride covers 285 miles over five days, from Texas accross southern New Mexico to near the Arizona border. Miscellaneous things I recall (from Renegade, not the whole three thousand miles):

Day I, a fifty five miler, started near El Paso, Texas and followed much of the same ground we covered in a 100 miler last November. Most of the ride was sandy with an enormous number of rocks in the hills near the end. Many riders were troubled throughout the five days about how to protect their horses` feet from rocks with pads or Easyboots without having problems with sand intrusion. Temperatures reached the 90`s. I rode with my buddy Richard Fuess and his stallion Jake. Jake`s easy moving gaits are so beautiful to watch. We were very impressed with the near infinite variety of thorny bushes and cacti defining this part of New Mexico. Our rig arrived at camp later than we did, no doubt helped by the fact I had disabled both the brakes and the lights of Richard`s 38 ft. trailer by accidentally pulling the plug off the connection cable earlier. Many people helped us with blankets, hay and especially beer.

Day II, a sixty miler, started with an intense rock field for the first ten or fifteen miles. There were some hills although the whole day, like the other days, had a cumulative climb of only around 1,500 ft. according to my altimeter watch. I began to count the rocks. I think there were 9,028,806 rocks on the trail overall by my calculations. Randy may have a better count. Assistant vet Nancy Cryder (sp.?) was very friendly, helpful and generally adorable. (Head vet Barney Fleming is always those things too but maybe too grizzled to call adorable.) We saw a lot of dead cows. We rode into Columbus, the site of Pancho Villa`s infamous raid, after dark. I was too tired to go raiding the bars accross the border with most of the other riders.

Day III, also a sixty miler, mostly followed the border. US Army units were constructing a new road and were very accomodating about stopping their machinery to let us pass. Still, John Teeter had a big adventure which Stephanie will probably describe in her next post. After lunch we climbed some more hills with more rocks. I began to name the rocks. Ugly names. The weather started to get stormy. There was rain and even snow at the finish for some people. Short little Remington looked so cute getting down on his knees to reach the water at the bottom of the tank two miles from the finish, I took out my camera to take a picture. It broke. Watering your horse within two mile of the finish, by the way, is an example of the kind of horse management that works at multi-days. You have to do things that may not be necessary today but will help the horse for the next day. When Barney finished checking Rem for completion, I told him he had just vetted in the world`s first 3,000 mile Icelandic endurance horse. I sure wished my camera hadn`t died twenty minutes earlier.

Day IV, a fifty five miler, headed back to the Mexican border with a climb through the rocks. The border here consists of a two strand barbwire cow fence with a cowpath on our side. Not very intimidating. By noontime, I began to talk to the rocks. Ada Carr was very helpful at the lunch vet check like she was every day. She began to sound like she wants an Icelandic, too. We rode through Little Hatchita, an interesting mining ghost town. I finished after dark again and had a temper tantrum over something minor, thus violating my cardinal principle that any critical comments at a ride should be expressed in a brief, calm manner and be accompanied by either a constructive suggestion or offer of assistance to busy ride personnel. Oh well, consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds, or something like that per Emerson.

Day V, another fifty five miler, started with another climb through rocks. The rocks began to talk to me. It`s good there wasn`t a Day VI. Later, Kat Swigart from our list said to me that she hadn`t noticed any rocks. I remember feeling glad that her father was at the ride to take her home. After a long day we finished at the ghost town of Shakespeare, a registered National Historical Site with a 150 year history. After Nancy vetted Remington in, the town`s owner and last remaining resident Janaloo Hill gave me a personal tour while Nancy played with Rem. I was having too much fun to notice that my trailer ride to our final base camp at the fairgrounds in Lordsburg had just left. We were now faced with at least a one hour wait for the next available trailer as it was getting dark, windy and cold. So I re-tightened the girth, climbed back up and said to Remington, "Shall we?" He voted with his feet and trotted down the hill to Lordsburg. As we proceeded through Lordsburg looking for the fairgrounds, I observed that many neighborhoods needed urban renewal but was glad most people kept their dogs tied up. I finally stopped a drunk on a bicycle at an intersection to ask directions. He told me to turn right and go on down the road until I hit the fairgrounds, right behind the Fiesta Club. It`s funny what non horse people use as landmarks. We got to camp after dark just in time to go to the awards banquet .......... at the Fiesta Club.

The banquet was wonderful. Sharon Dumas was the overall winner on time, overall Best Condition winner and a very happy girl. Randy had humorous things to say about everybody and passed out lovely Tarahumara Indian pottery cooking bowls as ride awards to the twenty seven horse and rider teams, including us, who managed to complete all five days. Randy`s rides, like other multi-day rides, go to the core of what endurance riding is all about. I just didn`t have the heart to tell him that his Renegade Ride was the site of the completion of the AERC`s first 5 mile point to point Limited Distance Ride by Remington and me.

John Parke
Solvang CA

New Mexico Renegade ... sort of - Steph Teeter

Sometimes things go well ... and sometimes it just seems like everything goes wrong.

Before I start, I want to thank Randy Eiland and his helpers for another great 5-day ride. This was our third time at Renegade - riding the Mexican border from El Paso, Texas to Lordsburg, NM (Arizona border) and I still LOVE this ride. The wide open country, mesquite, sand, rock, and you can`t help but think about the history when you ride there - the apaches, Billy the Kid, Poncho Villa - this country is so big - but so easy to get lost - or hide - in. Plus there`s something special about Randy`s rides - relaxed and friendly. Barney Flemming and Nancy Cryderman (?) are terrific vets - always there to help, always willing to spend extra time if necessary. It`s just a fun ride.

Our first few mis-haps were pretty minor - we had traded in our old Sundowner for a new one which was delivered to the ranch, and waiting for us when we arrived. The wiring didn`t match our truck`s so rather than charging the battery, the trailer brakes stayed on. Not a big problem, there wasn`t a lot of driving to do and our truck could do the braking, so we just left it unplugged. But while focusing on the trailer brake problem, John had failed to release the emergency brake completely during some of our tests up and down the ranch drive, so they sort of burned up. No problem, we just wouldn`t park on any hills :) The ride must go on....

We loaded the horses, hay, etc and headed over to base camp on Sunday. Beautiful weather - 70`s and sunny. John would ride Snip, our green-broke Arab/Saddlebred cross, and I was riding Nature`s Fantastic - a young Thoroughbred/Russian Orlov cross of Lari Shea`s that I was just riding for her for the winter. (yeah, right - as if I wasn`t going to fall in love with him!) I had ridden Fantastic at Death Valley - it was his first endurance ride and he was a bit of a handful in the beginning - but after he bucked me off I planted him behind John and Quicksilver and we somehow made it through the first 25 miles. He was fine the remaining 375 miles and l was really impressed with his ability - and attitude - he never did stop asking to go faster.

Base camp was the usual day of visiting old friends, preparing tack and feed for the week, vetting in, riding. It`s always so exciting before a ride. There were actually quite a few other snags - Alisa Waxman (from Chicago) had kept her horse at Spur C for the winter also - she arrived on Saturday, took her mare out for a short ride, all was well - until she vetted in and discovered she was lame. Alisa was crushed, but fortunately found some great folks from Montana (Dorothy Sue Phillips, Phyllis Arnold) who had a spare horse for her - (Alisa ended up riding their `spare` top-ten all week and finished top-ten overall - not bad!) Our other Spur C friend, Earle Baxter from Canada had a panic when his great Standardbred/Arab cross trotted out lame just an hour after an easy ride over to base camp. Earle worked on him - figured it was a shoulder problem - the horse worked out of it and went on to finish all 5 days, 5th overall. Just weird stuff going on. And then there was word from Nicole and Dave Luck - they couldn`t make it because their truck had just been stolen! We`re all shaking our heads at this point... what next?

The first day - 55 miles started Monday at 8AM - warm and sunny by the time we all left. John and I planned to ride very slow - neither of our horses were seasoned competitors, and we just planned to do the miles - conserve energy, easy pace. Unfortunately both our horses were very eager and not happy about the slow pace. We spent the first 2 hours keeping them at a walk (sort of) - we were finally able to let them move out as we turned along the railroad track - good footing, no horses in site, they should be more relaxed by now. We were moving along reasonably when Fantastic broke into a lope - it started getting more vertical, and then rather alarmingly like bucking when I heard a huge roar and we realized a freight train was bearing down on us (10 ft from the track). Both horses were sky-high by then and I just recall thinking ...circles ... we need to do circles... I`d love to go back and look at our tracks some day. We both managed to stay on, I have no idea what John and Snip were doing, but Fantastic and I were doing pirouette and piaffe circles around the mesquite. After I realized we weren`t going to die it was actually quite thrilling. This was probably one of my most exciting moments on horse back.

Poor Fantastic never did get the hang of watering at the cow tanks. Creaky windmills, big tanks on concrete platforms - and he was really afraid of the cows. I carried a collapsible bucket, so he at least drank a little at the stops. After crossing the mountain and heading down to Monday`s base camp we had one more tank to water at. There was a beast of a bull lying next to it, and another bull braying in the bushes. This was just too much for either of the horses. Fantastic just froze and started trembling. Snip was a little braver and we finally got them around the tank and the bulls - but I`m afraid it left a lasting impression on Fantastic, and he was even more frightened of the cattle after that. Finally made it to camp, a 9 hour ride time, getting dark, hungry, but both horses looked great. And Boyd was there with a nice cold beer!

Tuesday was pretty pleasant - and mostly uneventful. The vet check was at a god-forsaken ranch in the middle of an alkali flat - truly grim. Nobody lived there anymore, but still used it for stock. The trail in went by the cattle `graveyard` - bones and buzzards, a nice place to hurry by. I guess Sue Norris`s horse tried to hurry by a little too abruptly, bolted, broke Sue`s finger in his escape and raced around the ranch and vet check until he was finally caught. When I saw Sue, she had her finger taped up with purple and yellow vet wrap - and was determined to finish the ride. Typical endurance rider!

We rode into the border town of Columbus Tuesday night, storms brewing on all horizons and a pretty good wind blowing. Horses looked great, John and I felt good - all the walking we did kept us from getting sore. We had some nice trots and canters riding into camp along the border - into the wind, high sprits. But it was looking like Wednesday`s weather could be a little different from the 70-80 degree days we`d been having. That night, we all drove across the border into Palomas, Mexico for dinner - great food, good time.

And then Wednesday - our day of real adventure....

Wednesday dawned cloudy and cool - nothing nasty, actually less stressful riding weather for the horses. We started late (8am) after Tuesday night`s foray into Mexico. Snip and Fantastic felt great, nice working trot, loose rein, walked when asked to. We were travelling along the border most of the morning. The US Border Patrol is building a road along the border - widening, putting in culverts, ect. and they were going at it as we rode. We came upon the first big dozer and truck full of army-clad workers. Fantastic scooted around them, and then Snip scooted - but scooted even farther when a few of the guys waved from the top of the truck. He scooted into a string of construction/survey tape and panicked when it wrapped around his hind legs. He pretty much went ballistic - John hung on for a while, but the saddle slid to the side and he came off, and couldn`t hang on to Snip - who went flying back down the border with the saddle flopping sideways and under him. Our mare, Quicksilver, was back at camp and that may have had something to do with his determination to head back - but he was definitely going. A few riders tried to catch him but only managed to send him away from the border and across the desert in a straighter line to camp. (a very lucky thing, since he managed to avoid the fences this way!) What a horrible feeling! We were at least 8 miles into the ride, Snip was in panic mode, blazing away from us - saddle flopping under him - and lots of barbed wire fences between him and basecamp. After I got Fantastic calmed down we figured I`d better boogie back to camp, see if Snip made it - and in what shape he was in. John started walking and I took off at a barely controlled trot. Passed a few folks on the way that had seen Snip, but couldn`t catch him. He still had the saddle at that point. I made it back to camp in about 40 minutes (almost got spooked off halfway there!) - saw Snip`s tracks coming out of the mesquite and onto the dirt access road - somehow he managed to avoid the fences and concertina wire (yes this is border country!). When I got back, there was Snip, tied to a trailer - and there was John! He had gotten a ride from a border patrol guy - and beat me by 15 minutes. Snip was ok - inside hind legs dinged up, but nothing major, amazingly enough. But no saddle. By then it was 10:00 - two hours since we started, and we`re back at camp in Columbus. We figured we still had 12 hours to do the 60 miles, so heck, why not try again. There were still a few trailers in camp (most had already been moved to the next base camp) and we managed to find another saddle in Jim Barnett`s rig. We figured Jim wouldn`t mind, so saddled up and away we went again. We planned to search for the ill-fated Ortho-Flex on our way back out. As we were leaving, the border patrol guy drove back by - we asked him if he could drive out and help find the saddle - no problem! Nothing better to do. He drove out, we rode and found his rig parked by the edge of the field - and saw him way out in the distance carrying the saddle over his shoulder. What a great guy! The saddle wasn`t totally trashed, but ... close. The stirrups and leathers had been almost torn off the tree - they must have gotten hung up on something. The billet leathers were what finally broke (they were already in need of repair, and their weakness was probably a good thing since Snip was finally able to bust out of the saddle). Btw - since then John has received advice from Les Carr to always use a breast collar to prevent a saddle from slipping under the horse`s belly. Good advice! So now it`s 10:30 ... sure, we can still make it. We`re feeling better, the horses feel remarkably good - we make it past the first danger zone, start to relax, pass a few more scary dozers and then Snip went lame. Hind leg - probably where it got dinged up - maybe wrenched something trying to lose the saddle. So ... what now? It`s 11:30, and we`re wondering if anybody will even be left at the vet check (which was only 22 miles into the ride). John is going to have to walk Snip in the remaining 12 miles. We figure our best bet was for me to ride fast for the vetcheck and make sure there was still a rig there to trailer Snip in the rest of the way. So, once again, off we go! Fantastic was .... fantastic. He sensed my energy and just took me there. A few spooks at construction sites when guys popped up out of ditches to see what was flying by - but mostly he was all business. We got to the road into the vet check (another 2 miles in) just as Jim Barnett was driving out. Told him the story, and he headed back to tell everyone not to leave. They had assumed we would pull back in Columbus and were packed up and heading out! I got there just before the last riders (Trilby, Sandra and Julie) were headed out on the final 38 mile loop. Les Carr had pulled his horse (mild colic) so offered to pick up John and trailer Snip in. Randy and Jim drove out to try to locate John and let him know they`d be coming for him. Fantastic had been on the trail, working pretty darn hard, for 4 hours, but really looked pretty good. So I decided to give him the hour hold plus a little extra time to fuel up and then try to catch up with Trilby et al. Kat Swigart`s father, Jack, stayed around to help me - it was cold and blowing and I really appreciated his help! And thanks to Nancy (vet) for waiting an extra hour to make sure Fantastic was ok, and help me find my way out of the maze of corrals and gates and back onto the trail. So 2:00 - and I`m headed out to do another 38 miles. Gonna be a long cold night I`m thinking... I got out in the open range and could see Trilby`s group at the base of the pass - headed up the mountain. Snow/hail showers on the horizon in every direction, but somehow they managed to miss us. I got to the next cow tank - water stop - about 10 minutes after Trilby. ... more cows all around :( Fantastic was really thirsty, so drank well despite the hundreds of eyes on him. Most of the cows were lying down, so not very threatening. I was leading him away from the water, decided to lead him through the cows and mount after we left them. Got right in the middle of them and they all stood up at once! Poor Fantastic - it was too much and I didn`t have a good enough grip on the reins - so off he goes! Shit!!! Fortunately he had seen the other horses up the side of the mountain so ran straight for them. Julie grabbed him, he really didn`t want to leave them anyway, I caught up with them, got back on and Sandra noticed that he had lost an easyboot. Must have twisted off when he bolted. So ... they waited while I walked back and found the easyboot - put it back on - and FINALLY got going again. The remainder of the day/night was long, but uneventful. This was my first time ever to ride with Trilby Pederson. In case any of you don`t know Trilby, she is 65 years old and has 47,000 career miles! After her racing days, she settle down to become the mileage queen. She rides tail end, several thousand miles a year, and almost always on the same horse. Incredible style and horsemanship. So even though I really really hate riding slow, I decided it was time to ride with Trilby, and didn`t think heading out on my own was a very good idea considering the day`s events. Trilby has a million stories to tell, Julie and Sandra (from northern CA) were great company - lots of fun, we actually had a great time. The sky cleared, stars came out, beautiful sunset - and riding slow enough to enjoy it all. We arrived a little before 9pm - hooting and hollering, and FREEZING! I don`t remember ever being so cold. The footing was too rough to get off in the dark, so we just stayed mounted and walked in the last couple hours in the dark. 13 hours after we started, and only one 60 minute hold - Fantastic`s pulse was 40 - he looked terrific - and I`m now totally bonded to this horse. Looks like I`m going to have to take him home with me :) Well, that was the big day ... but there`s still a little more bad luck to come! - later... Steph Teeter

Tuesday, May 04, 1999


(Sung to the tune of "Rawhide")
Ridin`, ridin`, ridin,
Oh, how I do love ridin`
Can`t get enough horse ridin`
In any kind of weather,
My ass is cravin` leather,
I can not wait until I get to ride!
It`s ALWAYS such a pleasure;
A joy I can not measure.
It does such wondrus things to me inside!
Moanin`, moanin`, moanin`
Yes my ass is swollen
In just 3 miles I`m groanin`
This buck, crowhop, and flutter
Has turned my legs to butter
I`m wishing that I had already died.
All the things I`m missin`
My soap op`ras and dishes
Like a dream are passin` by my eyes.
Runnin`, jumpin`, leapin`
Yes my eyes are weepin`
I wish I were home sleepin`
Blazin` way past lopin`
My lycra jeans are smokin`
Amazing! Since I think they`re soaked in brine.
My heart is palpatatin`
My liver`s dislocatin`
My God! I just got strangled by a vine.
Bitchin`, bitchin`, bitchin`
Now my crotch is itchin`
I could be home a stitchin`
Horse did a "Snowy River"
MID AIR! My heart`s a quiver
Damn fool thinks that he`s an aeroplane!
Though I am still a sailin`
My altitude is failin`
I think this horse is totally insane!
Prayin`, prayin`, prayin`
It`s too late for sayin`
I wish I was home playin`
My raspy throat`s a thirstin`
My drawers are filled to burstin`
Head to toe I know I`m black and blue.
This horse is nine tenths devil,
I`ll say this on the level,
If I survive I`m thinking barbecue!
Cussin`, cussin`, cussin`,
I`m eloquently cussin`,
I need NEW words for cussin`,
There`s one thing I`m a hatin`
There`ll be no procreatin`
I just landed on the saddle horn!
The pain`s excrutiatin`
No ambulance a waitin`
I curse the day that I was ever born.
Whinin`, whinin`, whinin`
My poor heart is pinin`
I could have been out dinin`
Hell bent through briar and thicket,
O`er barbed wire, post, and picket,
I`m clinging for dear life as on we fly.
If I can find the stable,
And get off if I`m able,
I`ll never ride again and that`s no lie!
Seein`, seein`, seein`,
I can`t believe I`m seein`
Yes my eyes are seein`
Around the bend I see it!
Too fast to stop! Oh sheyut!
I`m in the air again ... this time alone!
A triple flip `fore landin`,
Then on my feet a standin`.
A SUPER RIDE it was now that I`m home!!!
Horse broke wind! What a stink!
Oh my back! Broke I think!
Broke a nail! Need a drink!
Lost a spur, banged my knee,
Bumped my head ... on a tree,
Mercy sakes! Woe is me!